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BRYAN VERNON Atop a lofty cliff in Montana, two eagles engaged in the avian version of a grunge fuck, and Bryan Vernon was the resultant love child. Raised by wolves, George Carlin, and three members of the Temptations, Mr. Vernon has emerged onto the original hard rock scene with an eclectic and soulful musical style. And a third eye somewhere. The rumors that swirl about him are generally true, although one must always go with the “believe none of what you hear and half of what you see” philosophy. In all seriousness, this guy can whip your ass (he’s a something-degree blackbelt) and then play a soulful riff to which one can bleed and throb in pain.
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JOHNATHAN MIDDLETON Mr. Middleton was born from the steaming bowels of a volcano, and has been gazing at himself in the mirror ever since. When he is able to tear himself away from his own visage, he is very adept at finding and destroying perfectly good lives and people. He sings with all the pain and heartache that he is incapable of feeling yet very capable of causing. If Mr. Middleton’s life were half as interesting as the gossip that trails him, his life would be twice as fun. Johnathan spends his time molesting & medicating himself.
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DAVE (PBBJMFWNGO) ELMORE Hand-molded from the rich clay of 80s hair metal and fashioned to be the Savior of Sleaze, the Pretty Boy of Pretty Boys, Dave slithered from the depths to make women jealous and men nervous. He is prettier (and lighter) than most ladies, and has a dire predilection for being a rather nice guy with some rather naughty habits. None of this has stopped him from dropping thick bass lines and generally being the heart and soul of Tilt. By his own admission, he is prone to “throwing two bricks in the mix ‘cuz it tweren’t chunky ‘nuff.” Dave spends his time bathing in fire water, thinking of bizarre catch phrases, and flipping cars down I-95. |
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NEAL WALLER On a hot and sultry night, Neal’s parental units made passionate love atop a Slingerland drum kit. An unfortunate and bizarre accident occurred, the details of which are extremely disturbing and inappropriate for this forum. The end result was Neal Waller--born of a man, a woman, and a kick drum. While his origins may be bizarre, his sense of rhythm is not. After a successful career as a porn star, working under the name “Thick Richard,” he found his true calling as a rock drummer. Rumor has it he always wears a condom while playing out at gigs, as he doesn’t know where he’s been and some habits die hard. No pun intended. Neal spends his time caring for the demons in his head, munching carpet, and taking long walks in the exercise yard.
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